Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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