An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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