Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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