He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I deserve this hangover.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
