He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
