I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
