i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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