my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
