So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
