nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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