Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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