i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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