Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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