Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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