I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
