So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
