Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
