Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
