if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
