Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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