Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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