Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
