Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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