He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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