what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
