Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Just puked most of my soul out..
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
