ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Come on in and take your pants off
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