I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
