Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
