even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
