angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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