he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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