Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
