Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
