I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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