You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
