so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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