Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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