I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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