Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
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There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
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