we'll go far in life on tits alone.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
