Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
