It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
