i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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