i came on her dog
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
