Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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