good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
