dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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