I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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