i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
