my vag is so smooth its legendary
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
