everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
