I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
