no, he came in my armpit
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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