weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize