One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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