My pussy is not your playground.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
