i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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