Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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